Practical Networking: How to Build Authentic Connections
By Yana Kouretas
Networking: it seems like the ultimate buzz word that everybody uses nowadays. We often hear people simply credit their career to “networking.” But of course, it’s easier said than done. Networking is an ongoing process that takes commitment, time, and hard work, and is usually one of those things that you love or hate. It’s either anxiety-provoking and awkward, or exhilarating and rewarding. But one thing is for sure; just like an art form, you’ll get better at it over time, as you become more concentrated in your efforts and learn exactly what you want out of it.
If you’re in your 20’s, you may be seeking access to new information, ideas, opportunities, or resources—both professionally or socially. And networking can help address all of those needs. But we typically think of it as a means to an end. So, it’s important to reframe your mindset; networking doesn’t solely have to be transactional or opportunistic. It shouldn’t only feel like a sales pitch or just another cold direct message.
That being said, we want to share some guidance on how you can network authentically, no matter what your goals are. We’re going to take you step-by-step from the very beginning. If you’re feeling anxious, confused, or even unsure about what networking is and why it matters, we’re here to help. Whether you’re looking for help to land a new job, or make genuine connections and share knowledge, it ultimately should be an avenue to build a high-quality network of like-minded individuals, which can be a source of support, collaboration, and opportunity for you.
*Courtesy of Pinterest
Let’s start: Decide on the ‘Who’
Take inventory of people you know
Research shows that one of the best way to maintain a network is to reconnect with your dormant ties
These are people you already know, but haven’t seen or talked to in a few years
And since you already know them, you’ve build a foundation of trust
Send a short message, with a focus of getting back into touch. It could be along the lines of “Hey I’m thinking of you. How have you been?”
Next, take stock of other people in your orbit:
Educators, people you admire, alumni, peers at your company, those in affinity groups (extracurriculars, athletic groups, professional associations, people in careers you admire).
Utilize friends and family members: don’t be embarrassed to ask them for help. Just because your relationship has solely been for personal or social reasons at this point, doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to help you in other areas.
Figure out the ‘What’
What are you hoping to gain from reaching out to someone? Is your agenda for social or professional purposes? Determine what you want to know and what questions or problems you want to be answered or solved. Here are some questions to prompt you:
Is there a certain position at a company you’re interested in?
Do you want to learn more about what someone does in their career?
Are you impressed by someone's success and want to learn exactly how they did it?
Is there a certain project they completed or skill they have that you want to learn more about?
Do their interests align with yours and you’re hoping to gain a friend?
Or—maybe you don’t have a specific reason for reaching out to someone other than wanting to get to know them. It’s always good to start networking before you need it! That way, when you need support or guidance, you already have people you can lean on.
Execute the ‘How’
Of course, we could tell you to use LinkedIn, but you already know that. Seriously, though, that’s what it's there for. Most people who are active on that platform are willing to have conversations and make connections. However, you can also reach out to people by email, or even use social media if you’re trying to solely make a social connection.
Once you’ve determined the ‘who’, start tailoring your messages one at a time
If you want to cultivate an authentic interaction, you’ll want to avoid copying and pasting. Keep it short, but customized to your goals of that interaction.
Don’t be abrasive: show them that you care about what they’ve done and currently do. Flattery and praise will be your best friend! You can compliment them on a project they’ve worked on or a promotion they’ve clearly received, based on their bio.
Give them a reason to reply: what can you offer to them? Or, focus on establishing a relationship first, before making a transactional request. Don’t ask for favors as you haven’t gotten to that point yet. People are organically attracted to authenticity and genuinely.
Make it easy for them: be clear and responsive and offer several times of availability for them to choose from. Then, send out the zoom link or choose the place for the in-person meeting.
Some things to consider including in the message:
a brief introduction of who you are
Talk about your career aspirations or what you currently do
Mention what attracted you to their profile
Share what kind connection you have (alumni, works at the same company, friend of a friend etc), and shared interests
Carefully outline your goal in making the connection along with a way that you can provide them some value, if possible
Note*: If you’ve already met this person in the past, you can tailor your message to be more conversational and casual.
*Courtesy of Pinterest
If you made it this far, that means you’re at the point where you’ve set up a networking call or a coffee chat. Now, how do you prepare to make sure you achieve your goals, while avoiding awkwardness?
Do your homework! Make sure you’re respecting their time by coming prepared. Look into their background to find examples of their work and see what resonates with you.
Have a list of specific questions to keep the conversation flowing.
Maximize your time with this person and really get to know them; dig into their passions, interests, hobbies, or ask them industry-specific questions, etc. If you’re meeting in person, it's totally normal to bring a journal to write things down. Or, create a google doc for a virtual call. People love talking about themselves, and take this opportunity to exhibit a genuine curiosity about them.
You’ll want to make sure it doesn’t come across like an interview, where you’re asking all the questions. Be prepared to shift the focus on yourself when necessary.
Here, you may want to prepare a minute long ‘spiel’ about who you are, what you do, what your goals are, and what you may be hoping to gain from the conversation. The more you practice, the more natural it comes.
How to crush the actual call or meeting:
Be honest.
If you made it clear in your message that making the connection was for professional purposes, now is the time to come out and ask that question or get that referral. Of course, you’ll want to gauge the temperature of the conversation. Maybe you need more time to get to know each other or it could just be that the vibe is off. Show a genuine interest and make sure you’re the conversation isn’t coming off as solely transactional.
Don’t just leave it at one conversation
Before you go, express your desire to stay in touch and ask them if you can reach out if an opportunity arises or if you have further questions. At the same time, make sure they know to reach out to you for the same reasons. Keep the line of communication open and active; show that you want to continue strengthening the connection. You may consider setting up another call a few weeks or even months away to check-in.
If it’s a social connection, you could set up a time and place for your next get-together so you have something to look forward to!
Remember: A huge part of networking is having consistent people to turn to in times of need; so even if they helped you address a problem or answered a question you had in that moment, it doesn’t mean they can’t help you do that again in the future.
This guide just barely breaks the surface of networking! Before we go, we want to share just a few more tips.
Don’t be discouraged if people aren’t responding to you or you’re having trouble creating authentic connections. Stay persistent and determined. Think: quality over quantity!
Be intentional and selective about who you choose to network with. Don’t just shoot off that message so you can check a box. Your time is just as valuable and precious as the person you’re trying to network with.
And lastly, you can always find a friend in our ‘Navigating Your Twenties’ brand. Keep an eye out for more resources on building friendships and connections, along with our in-person meet-ups—like our Dinner Party on April 12th!
Good luck!